Guest Writer Wednesday: Kate's Unicornuate Uterus Story

Kate shares her unicornuate uterus story. My heart hurts for all that she has been through. I can’t imagine the loss she has experienced. Thank you for sharing your story and all the work you do to support other women.

Photo credit: Kendrah Damis Photography

After marrying my husband we decided we wanted to try for a baby right away. After trying to conceive for three months we got a positive pregnancy test! I had never been pregnant before. I was scared of the unknown.

Everything in my pregnancy always seemed very normal to me and to my doctors. We found out our baby was a boy early on and named him Cade. He was growing ahead of schedule every time we went for our visits. Closer near the end I did tell my nurses every time his movement were lessening. They assured me that was normal, and at my 37 week appointment the doctor I saw said he was pretty positive my son was breech. He ordered an ultrasound and around 37 weeks and 5 days we had the ultrasound done. He was definitely breech and very squished.

I asked the ultrasound tech, “Is it possible I could have a similar uterine abnormality as my sister? Her baby was breech too." She said, "No, that would be extremely rare, and we would of seen something at the 8 week ultrasound." My sister has a septum uterus so I thought maybe I did too…I just had a weird feeling. I also expressed concern as in the ultrasound I saw his umbilical cord floating near his face. The tech assured me that was normal. He looked normal and was already 8 lbs, measuring ahead. After the ultrasound I followed up with one of the five doctors they had me floating around to see, they want you to be familiar with them all. The doctor was quiet and just said, "Well he is breech." Then didn't say anything. It was awkward silence. I asked, "Do we need to schedule a cesarean then?" He responded, "Yes." He was just very weird about the whole thing and provided no real guidance. I was four or five days away from my 38 week appointment, and asked him if I needed to come in to that appointment. He said I didn't need to.

We had just purchased a house that week and were moving in. I hadn't really been paying enough attention to Cade’s movements. On June 27, 2017, I woke up really late around 11 AM. A few hours had gone by, and I hadn't felt Cade move. I had felt him last move around 4 AM that morning, but there was nothing that afternoon. I drank juice, soda and that evening a chocolate shake and still nothing. No movements. Some family said it was normal for babies to move less in utero towards the end of the pregnancy, but I didn't feel right about it. All night my husband and I tried to feel Cade. My husband told me he felt him kick but I didn't. Still, I held onto hope.

The next day was busy. I had to pick my mother up from the airport because I was having my C-section the next morning at 7:30 AM.

I was having some cramping but nothing to major. I asked my mother in-law to drive with me to get my mom because I was uncomfortable. We picked her up, got back home, and as the night went on I got more and more uncomfortable. At around 9 or 9:30 PM, I had contractions that were not letting up at all. I called my doctor and told them what was going on. I even mentioned how I hadn't felt him move for a day or more. She said definitely come in.

We arrived to labor and delivery, and the nurse started to look for his heartbeat with a hand held doppler. I laughed initially when she was unable to find the heartbeat because I told her how everyone always tries looking for it in that same spot but he is breech and lopsided in my belly and I pointed in a different spot where it always works. She still couldn't find it. She assured me everything was okay and that he was just stubborn. She told us to wait while she got a ultrasound machine and tech. When she left the room I looked at my husband and said, “Something is wrong, Scott." He said, "Everything is okay.” I really think he believed it, but deep down I knew it wasn't.

Five nurses and one doctor come in, one of the doctors I saw one other time. They looked again with the ultrasound machine and then the tech said, "I'm sorry…there is no heartbeat." I looked at my husband, crying and in shock I said, "I know they say everything happens for a reason, but I'll never understand this.:

The doctor said since they were not yet sure why my son passed away. The doctor also said that it might be safer if I were to try a vaginal breech delivery. The thought of that made me sick to my stomach and they had to give me medicine to help which made me drowsy. They explained it would be safer for me. The doctor explained that at 39 weeks, my son's head was measuring close to 42 weeks and that they might have to cut my cervix to help in delivery. My husband did not want me to labor and wanted me to do the C-section but I just kept thinking I can't die too and leave my husband with no one.

I attempted vaginal delivery. I was in labor and honestly I hurt but it didn't hurt. I was in so much shock I was just going through the motions of labor and I was noisy about it, which made my husband and family uncomfortable because they didn't want to see me in pain. They offered me morphine to help my contractions and I really didn't need it but took it for my family. That made me even more drowsy. I dilated to a 3 on my own in a few hours and they explained that they would do a Foley bulb which will help me dilate more quicker. They decided to also break my water so it could also help. I then got a epidural, again I really didn't need it but got it for my family and because I was doped up on medication that made me drowsy I kept falling asleep while they were placing it and moved so they didn't stick me well. I could still move my legs some. The Foley bulb did help, it got me to 6 centimeters fairly fast it was about 7 am. They checked me and realized he was feet first and they needed to go ahead and do the C-section.

Even though I was scheduled it was considered an emergency because I couldn't get a spinal and my epidural had failed. While they were prepping me I could feel the coldness of the antiseptic , I apparently felt the cutting into me and was in pain and kicking my legs but thankfully I don't remember that . They quickly rushed my husband out of the OR and incubated me. I only remember everything going dark thinking I was dying, when I opened my eyes everything was so bright , I asked the nurse " how is he" hoping it was a bad dream and they had just got it wrong. She replied " he's a beautiful angel". I lost it and wished I had died , in my head I was begging God to bring him back and take me instead.

He was so beautiful and perfect, 8 lbs 10oz of perfection. He was born June 29th 2017, his umbilical cord was wrapped twice tight around his neck, it's called a double nuchal loop in the medical world. Whenever a unborn babies umbilical cord is compressed for too long it can kill them cutting off oxygen and nutrients.

Later that night the doctor explained that I had what seemed to be a unicornuate uterus which is half the size of a normal uterus. I asked if this is why he died and she told me no

I will forever cherish those short 3 days we spent with Cade. There is a cooling device called a cuddle cot that allowed Cade to be able to stay with us longer so we could make memories and say goodbye. Leaving him at the hospital for the funeral home to pick up was actually the hardest and most painful for me besides finding out he died.

After your child dies you are forever changed. I joined support groups for not only stillbirth but for my unicornuate uterus. I learned so much more on my own from researching than from any doctor.

I fortunately didn't have a lot of the same problems others with unicornuate uteruses have. I had never had fertility struggles, miscarriages or kidney problems. I researched as much as I could before we tried for another child. I was pregnant with our rainbow baby 8 months postpartum and I knew there were going to be risk. Your risk for stillbirth actually goes up after already having one and because i had a uterine abnormality it went up more. Adding the risk of uterine rupture on top if that it brought my chances of another loss to 11%. Pregnancy after loss was terrifying, I had complications towards the end of my pregnancy with my Rainbow baby Gunner. I had polyhydramnios which is high amniotic fluid. I was so scared of going into labor because I had a high chance of a prolapse cord if that happened which could result in him being stillborn too. They wouldn't take him any earlier than 39 weeks so I was a wreck and held on to hope. When Gunner was born alive he had a true knot in his umbilical cord. It made me realize Gunner could of easily died and Cade could of easily lived. It was a horrible accident.

All of this has changed me so much, I advocate for pregnant mothers to speak up and listen to that inner voice. I help admin a infant loss and pregnancy after infant loss group now. I enjoy helping other that are on this grief journey as well as helping them during pregnancy after loss. I hope one day I can give back more by becoming a bereavement doula but until then I'll keep Cades memory alive by telling his story and talking about him so I can hopefully save lives.

About Kate

Texas born and raised, stay at home mom, living in Ohio with her husband of five years. A boy mom of one in heaven and two on earth, enjoys spending as much time with family as possible.